We Love Ya, But

You go to the house of a family that you have missed from church for a few weeks.  In the back of your mind you are hopeful that you will hear about a recent vacation.  The conversation is pleasant, and they seem genuinely happy to see you.  However, in time the conversation is opened up and they share that they are seeking another church, or not planning to come back.  "You see pastor, its not you.  We love you, but we feel like we need to make a change."  You have probably felt the discouragement of these words.  It reminds me of the old Warner Brothers character that went around saying, "I love ya. Bye, bye."  You go home wondering what you or the church have done to offend the family, or what you could have done differently to have kept them from leaving.

Here are a few lines I have heard over the years, as I have spoken to people who talk with me about why they are leaving our church.  You have probably heard theses too.

• "I love the church pastor, but we need more for our family than your church can offer."
•  "I love you pastor, but there are people there that I know are doing (name the action)."
•  "Pastor you are a wonderful pastor, but I just feel like I am not being fed."
• "Pastor you and the people are so wonderful, but I don't like the changes with (music, schedules, or any variety of big or small changes are often listed)."

I could go on with this list, and you could probably list dozen's of situations like this.  I think that as ministers and leaders we must acknowledge there are usually deeper issues going on that they simply can not express.  I am starting to learn that people don't always know why they left.  I think that there is a stirring that is within them that is coming from deeper issue, and they leave over a feeling, which is often not easy for them to express.

Even if we are given opportunity to get some sort of exit interview they will likely share these ambiguous answers, which do not help us to improve our ministry.  If there is a weakness, we may not know, because they are unable to express their deeper feelings.  There may be situations of past changes, past ministers, or past friendship that prevent them from opening up to share with us.  It may be this past pain that also has kept them from the deeper relationship that would keep have helped them to remain connected.

There is also the reality that we who are in a small church cannot offer the big church perks.  It may frustrate us at times when some will leave without ever having sincerely offered to help the very ministries they desire.  This often only seems to put salt in our wounds.  However, we know that we can't do what those larger ministries do, and we shouldn't try.  God has created us and our church for the unique place we are in.  We can't imitate or pretend to be what we are not.  We can only offer the best we are, and seek what unique ministry God has for us.  We are not in competition with the big box church down the street.  We are all on the same team, with a focus on different areas.

This past week in a Bible study group we were talking about when people leave our church.  I am not talking about people storming out of the door, but rather people who have been fairly faithful or steady simply stop coming.  Some wondered if it was not important to chase them and at least ask why they left.  Others wondered if chasing people would only push them further.  One thing we came to realize in the discussion was that if they were not getting connected with others then chasing them with any success was a near impossibility.  If we hadn't connected to them deep enough before then chasing them wouldn't help, because we really didn't know them well enough for their trust to be open to us anyway. This does not mean that we shouldn't try to reconnect with them, but was a simple observation to the reality of such situations.

I never used to chase people when I started in ministry.  I had the belief that if someone wasn't happy with us then they likely left for a church more suited to their taste. If they had moved on to another church then I could deal with the sadness and loss, because they were at least still growing in faith.  If they had left because of a lack of deeper connection I felt that chasing them would either alienate them further, or waste a whole lot of time which could be better spent ministering to those who wanted to be there. Don't get me wrong I never tried to avoid, alienate, or wrote off people.  I usually stayed in polite contact passing information and inviting them to events.  I just didn't like going after people, who knew where we were, and had obviously chosen to go in a different direction.  I just refused go to their homes time and time again or call them over and over, if they showed no interest in responding.

Over the past eight years my view has changed, and I tend to chase people at least for a while.  In many cases life became busy, and the lack of deeper connection to others led to their drifting out of our church.  Some openly admitted that they were seeking some sort of feeling, and now that was filled they didn't feel the need for being a part of the church.  A few have actually shared some useful information about some minor problems in our church ministry that we have had to address over time. I still hurt when people leave, as I am sure any pastor of any church would.  After all we are the under-shepherds responsible for the fold.  We cannot help but feel the pain of a loss to the church, and the impact on the Kingdom of God.

We can do our best to make stronger connections in the future, and keep the door open to those who have left.  However, we must also remember that we can't make everyone happy, and we are not called to try that.  We are called to be God's hands and feet in witness to the world of His love.  People have different personalities, and respond to different things.  No one church can ever touch the heart of everyone that is why God has given us so many churches.  That is also why there are so many people who are lost and hungry for a real relationship with Him still around us.  Instead of worrying that we may not be the right fit for someone who goes to another church, maybe we should open our eyes to the five or ten people living nearby that go to no church at all.

Don't allow the discouragement of hearing someone say "I love ya pastor, but...", to create a painful stumbling block in your heart.  Instead remember that you are not alone.  Remember also that there were many whom Jesus could never get through to.  Care for those who will listen, and reach those who have yet to hear.  If you do get people to open up, be gracious and listen to areas that they may show you in your ministry that you can improve.  We all have room for improvement, since none of us has yet reached the perfection of heaven.  We all minister together with God's Spirit for His Kingdom.  He will help to carry us on His mission.


- Keep strong in your journey,
Daniel Shipton

Shut Up And Listen

I was reminded in a recent conversation with a friend, who was going through a difficult situation, that sometimes I need to stop myself, shut up and simply listen at times.  They were facing some difficult decisions, and internally they knew the right thing to do.  While they had come seeking advice it was not advice they wanted.  They wanted support, care, and someone to listen and help bear their need. Thankfully God gave me the wisdom to recognize what it was they really needed, and I could offer a supporting listening ear and a shoulder to lean on during their stress.

It may sound a bit cliche, but there really is an art to listening.  The art may really be in learning to simply shut up and listen.  We need to listen to know how and when to respond to those who are calling us for advice.   As ministry leaders we get called upon to give advice for a variety of reasons.  Many of the reasons people come is for spiritual guidance.  People also come for advice about which job to take, family decisions, and even medical decisions that have to be made.We are obviously not qualified to answer in many questions, and we should know when to refer people on to other experts.

There are times when guiding others when we are being asked for advice, but there are many times when we simply need to shut up and listen.  Much of a ministers time is spent advising, preaching, and teaching.  That is good, when someone is really seeking our sincere advice or comment.
However, being a good listener means knowing when we simply need to let them share what is on their heart and mind.  Often it is best to let someone talk out their situations, and give them minor guidance in seeking solutions. At other times it is far better to be quiet and listen, because while the person says they are wanting advice they are really not yet ready to listen to guidance.  If we have been listening well, then we will be ready to give a better response when the time is right. 

- D.G.Shipton

 

What You Do Matters

This past Sunday I was touched by a frail elderly woman in a wheel chair.  Our church has a worship service for a local nursing home.  We sing some hymns, tells a few stories, give a short sermon, and pray for the people.  We had extra work of a dinner on Saturday night, and I was very exhausted as we went into the nursing home service. 

I was helping with the music, as our song leader led the music.  I have to be honest that in my exhaustion I was thinking of about a hundred other things that I would rather have been doing.  Then, as we began to sing "Because He Lives", one lady who hadn't moved since we arrived, began to clap her hands.  Her clapping was not in beat, but it was with joy, as her somber face turned to joy.  I was so touched that it gave me energy into the evening.

I am reminded that we may feel like we are weary in our ministry.  We may put out the extra effort, and wonder if it makes any difference to anyone.  We can know that no matter what we are doing for the kingdom is important, no matter how small.  We may only touch one life with blessing or God's grace, but every  soul is important to God.

If you are struggling today or feel that what you do for God doesn't matter, keep doing the good you can.  You are making a difference.  You may not see it right at this moment, but somewhere there may be someone clapping along unnoticed by everyone else, because you were faithful to do what you knew you should.

- Keep on the journey,
  Daniel Shipton

Turning a Ship Takes More Than turning a Speed boat

When you go to the lake in the summer and watch a water skier turn and twist to hit the wake of the speeding boat it looks fun. It is exciting to change directions and create a great stir in the water, which is felt by even those on the shore sometimes.

A ship may create a deep and far reaching wake as well; however, it takes far more to turn a huge ship in the water. It will not turn in seconds, but it takes a larger berth in making a change of direction.

It is the same for most churches. The affects of change can not be pushed through because the quick waves of change will make a churning that will rip and tear on the fabric of the church. Does that mean we do not make change? No. It means as we grow in ministry we learn that it will take more time, patience, and effort to change direction. Things that have been done a certain way will take time to change. I have been part of change in the speed boat, and I am learning the lasting changes come when the whole church can go together.

May God bless your Journey with Jesus today

Working in and out of Season

Paul reminded Timothy to preach in and out of season (2 Tim. 4:2). We must continue to minister whether the mood strikes or not. Sometimes this isn't easy. Sometimes we may not feel that inspired to prepare a message, file reports, or visit a person in the hospital. Face it some of our tasks are rather draining on the emotions. However, we should take Paul's words to heart in doing the Lord's work. We should try to do our best to keep our schedules before us and give our best to the task. I pray God will strengthen me when I feel weak, and that He will strengthen you too.

Lord bless those who minister and serve others through their churches today. Give an extra dose of strength during this middle of the week day. Help us all to have the energy and focus to get the tasks ahead of us today and into the future done in You.

- Keep on the Journey with Jesus today

Keeping up on Paper work

I have been finishing up paperwork, for year end financial information. With taxes and student loans this can really be a chore. When you find out that you may have to make corrections in information that has been incorrect for years it really can make you crazy. I am talking about keeping files in order for quick recall, and review when needed.

It reminds me of how important it is in a small church when information and files are passed from one person to another, that you are sure to follow up that all the information is correct and all there. Sometimes years later you will realize that something was left out, or a number on record was a wrong reference and it can cause a lot of undue stress, confusion, and a lot of extra work to get fixed.

I appreciate people who pass along records clearly. I hope we do our best to keep good records, and pass those processes on to the people who follow us or who work with us. In a church many records have public accessibility (ie. financial records) and it will help if a question ever arises too.

I am far from perfect, but hope that we can continue to improve ourselves. After all for ministers everything comes back to us and our leadership. We may celebrate joys, but we also have to pick up the pieces of our weak areas. I am learning to do better, but realizing that there is always room for improvement.
- Keep on your Journey with Jesus (and good record keeping in your future)

Ministry Has Many Sticky Wickets

A Sticky Wicket is a term that comes from the game of cricket, and indicates a tough and sometimes hazardous situation. In ministry we may find ourselves in situations that are very touchy and hazardous to our ministry and the community we are a part of. We may out of necessity be placed in the midst of family struggle, disagreements, divorce, or other situations where we may be called to negotiate or mediate. It is in these situations we need God's grace and mercy to see our way through.

I pray that you will not have to face anything to difficult, but mostly I pray that God will guide you through all the tough situations in your life.

- Keep on your journey with Jesus today

Pass God's Blessing as You Go

Matthew 10:12-13 reminds us that as we go about spreading the hope of the Kingdom of God we are to go among and be a part of the life of those we witness to. We are to pass a blessing on to the "houses we stay in." This really means a lot to us as ministers. We are invited into the fellowship of a church to be a blessing of God to the people, whom He calls us to. We should keep these words of passing God's blessings in mind, and before us always.

For some ministers this means reevaluating how we relate to those who are serving along side us, and those we are responsible for training under our direction. We are to help people grow in the way God would desire, and not lord our personal opinions or directions over people. This may mean slowing down plans in order for people to catch up. It may mean spending sleepless nights in care of those who are in need. We may be called to bless others in being faithful with our lives and witness before men in how our work ethic is lived out. There are numerous ways which God may call us to serve those we are called to serve.

We must take time evaluate ourselves, our witness, and whether we are blessing others in our ministry. The New Year offers a thought of new beginnings. I pray that we can all better serve and follow Christ in His great example.

We are not Super-Pastor's

Look up in the front it's a singer. No, it's an entertainer. No, it's a prayer. No, it's a manager. No, it's the C.E.O. No, it's a compassionate friend. Actually it's just the smaller church pastor, and it must be Sunday morning.

Somewhere between planning worship, preparing sermons, and visiting the sick you are still called to help feed the poor and encourage the newly wed's down the street. How can one person do so many things? Well remember Paul said, "I was all things to all people that some might be saved." This is our motto, and our creed. We praise this creed, and promote it to others would follow in our footsteps.

For Superman it was the the sun which gave him his extraordinary strength, with which to do his mighty deeds. The reality is that for us we need to spend our time with the Son, as well. We do not minister under our power, but in the power of time spent with Scripture regularly in our lives. Be sure your soaking in the the Son continually to be a vibrant minister long term

Helpmate in Ministry

Billy Sunday once said, "Praise your wife, even if it scares her at first." Does your spouse fear when you are being kind, or say a kind word. More important, how high in value is your spouse. I know I do not thank my wife enough for standing by my side in the ministry. I try to say thank you, but then I know the sacrifice, the work, the time, and the energy she puts into the ministry alongside me.

There are many young people going into ministry who may say, "Ministry is my calling, and my spouse has no need of being involved. The churches I candidate to must understand that she is not a free laborer for the Lord."

My wife would argue that she is called to work along my side, and that ministry is package, which she is very happy to be a part of. She is valued by those who seek her counsel, the children she ministers to, and those whom she is able to demonstrate her gifts of hospitality to.

She is not paid in monetary amounts, and she gets tired. However, she understands the bigger picture of the Kingdom. It is the Kingdom she willingly keeps in mind when she works alongside me as helpmate, advisor, and friend.

Yes, I know we should set limits and be responsible with the most precious resource we have on earth; our spouse. I am not saying that you should sit back and let a church walk on your spouse. However, your spouse should be part of your ministry. They should be as involved as you expect any parishioner in your church to be involved. Too many seeking or in ministry are willing to protect their personal time and family involvement, while expecting high commitment from members within the church. Be sure your commitment levels in your ministry begin within your own life, and your own family example.

- Keep on the Journey with Jesus today

Ride the Wave God Sends You

Jesus said that we should be watchful of the seasons, and know when the times are approaching. He compared farmers who watch the seasons to know when to plant or harvest. As ministers much of the success we will have will be due to learning to ride the waves God sends our way.

We may go through weeks, or even months of normal everyday activity. We sometimes get lost in the mundane, and then all of a sudden many things start happening in our churches. It may be that several families start coming all near the same time, or several people get saved. Maybe a new ministry is launched that has a far larger reach than expected. Then an older person who has been struggling for many years comes forward for prayer, and soon several others are at the altar renewing their passion for Christ.

We need to preach "in season, and out of season," as Paul instructs Timothy. That is to continue to minister to people no matter what is going on, or how little there may seem to be going on. Yet, we must always keep our eyes open. Often what looks to be a small breakthrough will have far reaching effects in lives of others. Churches that haven't seen a salvation in years may open the door by one or two people coming to Christ. We need to be aware of God's moving among us. We must ride the wave of blessings and open doors he may send our way.

We are in a season of blessing, after a year of rebuilding. I made the decision a month ago to make a new attempt at building a new youth program, after have a shut down a year ago. In the process we hosted an event for youth and young adults. Over the last year our young adult Bible study averages about four or five people. By combining the fun event, in an attempt to bring in youth we actually added four or five more people to our young adults. These four or five additions within one month are already getting involved in ministries, such as helping with VBS.

We have been able to reach a few young teens, which was the goal. However, God sometimes takes the wave in directions we do not expect. Through one ministry plan we may see other ministries blessed.

Watch what God is doing. Where are the open doors He is sending your way? Where do you see the current wave of your ministry? Get on and ride. If your in doldrums, just pray and wait, because another wave of blessing is soon coming your way.

- Keep on the journey for Jesus in your lives

Perfect Sunday

It was Sunday morning, the highlight of the week. Everything had built up to this day. The pastor arrived about an hour and a half before the Sunday School was scheduled to begin, and with in minutes members of the church began to drift into the church facility. There were many things to be done, before the official start to the day. Some of the members went to the sanctuary to pray for the day, the church, and the needs of the community. Teachers were preparing for classes, as they made sure classrooms were ready to teach the expected students. Soon the worship leader and team were gathered to pray and harmonize in preparation for the services later in the morning.

The Sunday School hour came, and the classes filled with bounding children who were excited to learn. The teens came with open eyes to share their hearts and souls, while studying God's Word. The Adults met and discussed everything from the past week's news to deep theology, as they sipped coffee and tea. All the classes concluded with times of sharing and prayer for the needs of one another.

In the sanctuary the worship team played melodious harmony, as people came in with expectant hearts. Everyone worshipped in comfort, and excitement of being in God's House for the most holy day of the week. The minster soon rose to preach and draw the souls of one and all to deep growing relationships with the Lord. While the last songs brought the worship to a crescendo, many gathered to pray at the altar with the several people who had come to open their needs to the Lord in this loving environment. People took time in leaving the church, as they visited and shared their lives with one another, praising one another for God's work in their lives, and setting up times to get together through out the week ahead.

I'll let you know that I am one of the best coaches in football too, well at least in my fantasy league. In the world of fantasy we can imagine a perfect place where everything goes great, all worship and Bible studies are a blessing to one and all; and the pastor has full support of everyone with no fires to put out anywhere in their ministry. However, fantasy can only last in the brief moments somewhere between sleep and unreality. We all live in a real world, and I am sure I lost your into this fantasy at members arriving early to the church, let alone attentive and awake Sunday School attendees.

Sometimes we just have to share our reality with a trusted comrade or prayer team, so that we can make it through the times we face in our ministry. We may need a short break from our reality by heading to a favorite fishing hole, taking a walk, or hitting some balls down the links. Somewhere though we must face our reality with the only one who really understands, and really can guide us through what we face. We need to get serious and spend time with our Great Shepherd and Lord.

As the old hymn Turn Your Eye's Upon Jesus reminds we must refocus the heart from the heat we face to the guidance of God in all our ways. We may find help in books, other ministers, and many other places, but only God can help us face whatever the reality of our ministry is before us. Never forget He has called us, and He has been there in His own ministry. Take up the Bible, and spend some time in prayer. Be overwhelmed in the arms of the Lord, and carry on in His work before you.